


for peter

by hailingstars



Series: irondad bingo [8]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Irondad Bingo 2019, Peter is a Little Shit, Peter is a dog, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, eventual endgame fix it, kind of, the most ridiculous one you'll ever read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2020-10-12 14:08:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20565620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hailingstars/pseuds/hailingstars
Summary: “What can I get for you two fellas?” asked the waitress, still grinning, still wildly amused by the way Tony bullied the manager on shift into letting Buddy come inside the diner and eat at a table.“I’ll take a cheeseburger,” Tony told the waitress, “And he’ll have the same.”Buddy barked three times.“Scratch that, three cheeseburgers and a bowl of water for my friend,” said Tony, catching the eyes of a group of men that sat at a table across restaurant. “What are you all staring at? It’s a dog, alright? What? Never seen a guy having burgers with his dog before?”ORTony recovers from losing Peter to the snap with a stray dog he found at the Parker's apartment.ORAn AU where Peter is turned into a dog instead of snapped out of existence and spends that five year gap living with the Starks at their lake cabinIrondad Bingo: Fluff (literally, fluff)





	1. paw prints on the wall

**Author's Note:**

  * For [frostysunflowers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostysunflowers/gifts).

> For frostysunflowers, because I think we both decided to love this idea at the same time, and a lot of the ideas in this fic are hers, too AND she's amazing and deserves a gift

The door to Peter and May’s apartment was cracked at an odd angle, unnatural and eerie and evidence, somehow, that the world was just as crooked as the bolts on the Parker’s door. They were unhinged, and well Tony was unhinged, too, like the lady he passed by in stairwell, who was wailing and screaming for someone Tony assumed was now only dust.

He paused at the end of the hallway, still listening to her faint howling, and stared at the door. He took a breath, released, and walked forward, towards a sight he was certain would break him.

Tony didn’t understand why he was doing this to himself.

He couldn’t even remember why he’d gotten into his car and made the drive into the city, or why his heart worked against logic, that he, of all people, had hoped that somehow the Parker’s apartment might have remained untouched from the devastation that had ransacked the rest of Queens, or all of New York, really.

Everything, everywhere. The whole universe. It was all broken and grey with grief, and Tony felt confident it was the way it was always going to be. The sun wouldn’t sun. There wasn’t any trace of hope left in the atmosphere to be kindled or sparked.

The ache in his soul would keep on aching, with nothing to sooth or comfort.

Pepper helped, sure. She was alive and breathing and real, and he could sit with her all day at their cabin and pretend like the universe wasn’t collapsing around them both. He could get lost in being with her, in her smile and her wit, but he could never get so lost as to forget that he’d never hear Peter Parker laugh again.

He’d never get to make good on that promise to watch every Star Wars movie with him. He’d never get to eat cheeseburgers with him past midnight, at their favorite twenty-four burger joint, after late night missions and patrols. He’d never get to pretend to be annoyed at his fast talking or his bad puns and jokes, or at the way he never stopped making noise.

The baby growing inside Pepper couldn’t replace all that, couldn’t replace intern he’d lost and there was no guarantee that the new baby wouldn’t crumble to ash in his hands, the way Pete had.

Tony pushed the thought away and took the door all the way off the hinges, set it aside, then stepped into the Parker’s apartment, though it was clear it wasn’t their apartment anymore.

It was only ruins of what once was.

Stripped of anything valuable, with heaps of empty candy wrappers, beer cans and chip bags littering the floor and spray paint marking up the walls. The couch Tony had sat on and pretended to like May’s date loaf was flipped over, sitting diagonal in the middle of the living room.

_Um, w-what, what are you doing here… uh, hey, I’m, I’m Peter_

_Tony_

He sucked in a breath and kicked at a pile of trash, before moving on, down the hallway and towards Peter’s bedroom. The door was propped open, and as Tony entered, he was greeted with a low growl.

It lasted a half second before the growling stopped, and a dog, a filthy, covered in dirt, dog charged at him. Tony was going to die. He was completely sold on that. He’d survived Afghanistan and the wormhole and space, only to die at the paws of a stray mutt.

He jumped up on him. Dirty paws on his cat t-shirt. He licked him, wagged his tail happily, and barked.

“Hey, hey,” said Tony, moving backwards and pushing the dog away. “We just met, alright? Give it some time.”

The dog sat in front of him and looked up with big, brown eyes, pleading, begging eyes, that had soul and spirit behind them. They were hauntingly familiar, and the memories came unbidden.

_Please, Mr. Stark. May won’t let me keep him, and it’s totally unfair. I could hide him from the apartment management, you know._

_Sorry, buddy, I don’t have time to take care of a dog. _

Tony crouched down, hesitantly reached his hand out, stroking the dog’s fur. “So, you’re Peter’s stray, huh?”

The golden retriever titled his head at him, listening, then barked once, and turned. He trotted off to the corner of Peter’s room, where two cardboard boxes sat. He dug his nose around in one, scooped something up in his mouth, then brought it back to Tony, dropping it on the floor and nudging it at his feet.

Tony picked it up and shattered his heart. Just one cheap frame with a picture inside was all it took to make Tony stumble over, butt on the floor, back against the wall. He swallowed and stared at the picture, looking at a happier version of himself, with Pete by his side. They were holding a certificate upside down and giving each other bunny ears.

They had laughed a lot that day. The echoes rattled around in Tony’s head.

The dog barked and Tony looked up. “You’re… you’re waiting for Peter to come back.”

He stared intently back at Tony, with eyes that convinced him that he somehow understood what he was telling him.

“I don’t really know about to tell you this, buddy,” said Tony, taking a shaky breath. “But Pete’s gone. I lost him, and he won’t be - He isn’t coming back.”

Tony sniffed and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt, while the dog made a noise that was somewhere between a whine and groan.

“I know, I – I’m gonna miss him, too.” He reached out again, giving the dog another good pet, and watched his eyes. There was warmth behind him, warmth that reminded Tony just how compassionate and caring Peter had been.

The dog whined as Tony lifted his hand and wiped his eyes again with his sleeve. He straightened out and stood up, looking around the ravaged bedroom and gripping the picture frame. It’d been pointless. Thinking he could save any of Peter’s stuff or somehow get transported back to the past.

It was clear why he really came there, now. To say goodbye.

Even still, the two boxes in the corner of the room looked savable. Tony put the picture frame back inside the first box, stacked them on top of each other and picked them up. He walked towards the door but stopped before stepping out in the hallway. He turned, and the filthy golden retriever was still staring up at him, expectant, waiting for someone who’d never come back.

“Wanna come home with me?” asked Tony. “Look, I’m not Peter, I’m nowhere near as good and kind, hell I don’t even really like dogs, but… I have a house with a big yard and plenty of squirrels and rats to chase and… if you’re lucky, I might even feed you.”

The retriever barked and followed Tony as he left Peter’s room, and eventually the apartment building. It only figured, and brought the briefest smile to his face, that Peter had won the dog argument. Tony ended up with the stray after all, and even in death, Peter was getting his way.

*

Pepper had been waiting for him on the front porch, with a book in her lap, and an unreadable expression on her face, as Tony watched her watch him park the car, get out, and open the back door, releasing the hound.

He jumped out and put his nose straight into the grass and dirt. He sniffed around, before yelping out a few happy barks.

“Who is this?” asked Pepper. She shut her book, put it down on the chair next to her, and stepped on the porch. Her eyes moved back and forth between the dog and Tony, until Tony turned, distracted himself from Pepper’s question by fishing Peter’s boxes from the car.

“Tony,” said Pepper. “Why do you have a dog?”

He turned back around, with two boxes gripped in his hand, and shut the car door with his foot.

“Tony,” she said, louder. She beckoned at the dog. “Who is this?”

“He’s my new best friend,” said Tony. “You’ll have to break the news to Rhodes and Hap that they’ve been replaced, I don’t think my heart could take seeing their faces when they find out.”

Pepper stared at Tony, while the retriever stopped sniffing the dirt and sat directly in front of her, looking up, giving her actual, literal puppy dog eyes. She didn’t look down. Refused to acknowledge him. If she did, Tony knew that, just like he had, she’d cave within seconds.

“Just look at him, Pep. Isn’t he adorable, uh, under all that dirt?”

“We can’t adopt a dog.”

“Why not?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said Pepper. “Maybe because we’re about to have a newborn.”

“I know that.”

“Do you know that, Tony? Because I’m starting to wonder… I know, I know things have been a nightmare, since the snap, it’s been hell, but I thought we at least had each other… but sometimes, it’s like you’re not even here. Like you never came back from space.”

“I’m right here,” said Tony, though even to his own ears, he sounded far away. “And I’m really excited for the baby. I’m pumped.”

“Oh, you’re pumped?” asked Pepper, with a raised eyebrow. Tony gave her a nod. “Then why haven’t you painted the nursery?”

“I’m gonna paint it. I’m gonna do it tomorrow.”

“That’s what you said yesterday.”

“This time I’m serious,” said Tony. He swallowed and shifted his eyes back to his dog. He still sat at attention, waiting for Pepper to notice him, the same way he’d been waiting for Peter to come back home. “Look, Pep, he’s Peter’s stray. I couldn’t just – I couldn’t just leave him there by himself.”

Pepper released a breath, her body relaxed, her eyes went softer, as she finally looked down to give the dog attention. “Does he at least have a name? Besides Peter’s stray?”

“Buddy,” said Tony. The name rolled off his tongue without any thought. It didn’t require any. Buddy was his name, and Tony, somehow, _just knew_.

“Buddy,” repeated Pepper, crouching down, and patting him on the head. She massaged his ears. “Welcome to our mess.” She straightened out and leveled her stare back at Tony. “He gets a bath before he comes in the house or you’re both sleeping in the shed.”

She snatched the boxes out from Tony’s hands, turned, and walked back inside, the outer door swinging shut behind her.

“Better get used to that, boy, she’s your overlord now, too.”

Buddy barked and followed Tony as he walked around to the side of the cabin, searching for the hose.

The sun beat down bright and hot as Tony dragged a metal bin he found, that he could only assume belong to the cabin’s previous owners, from the garage to yard and stuck the hose inside, letting it fill with water while Buddy watched with mournful eyes.

“Okay, we’re good,” said Tony, when the tin was half full. He took the hose out and held it out away from his shoes, so he wouldn’t get them wet. “Well go on. Get in.”

Buddy didn’t move.

Tony stuck his hand in and flicked water at him. “It’s not that cold. It’s just like swimming.”

Buddy laid down on his belly, stretched his front legs and paws out in front of him, and whined.

“Don’t be a drama queen about it, alright? We gotta get all that dirt off you,” said Tony. He hoped just plain water would do the trick. He didn’t have any dog shampoo, and he knew, thanks to one of Peter’s rambles, that he shouldn’t use human shampoo on dogs.

Grief hit him like an icicle through his heart. He’d never get listen to Peter rattle off rambles while he was trying to work.

Buddy barked, loud and abrupt, breaking Tony out of his stupor. He was suddenly up on all four of his legs, charging at Tony. He bit down on the hose, tried to wrestle it away, and in the process, sprayed Tony first in the face, then the chest, and then finally, his shoes.

“Hey! You little shit!”

Buddy released the hose, and Tony fall backwards, landing with a thud on the ground, his hair dripping wet, the hose spilling water out on the ground.

“Really, that’s how it’s gonna be, huh?”

Buddy titled his head, then raced off towards the lake, where he jumped in the water with no hesitation and happily swam around.

This dog was worse than a teenager.

He released an annoyed, slow sigh, before standing up and switching off the hose. By the time Buddy was done with his afternoon swim in the lake, Tony had a towel waiting. Predictably, Buddy had another method of getting dry. He shook the water from his fur, right in front of Tony and his towel, and had the audacity to look smug about it.

“Now you smell like lake water,” Tony complained, as he kneeled on one knee and ruffled the towel through Buddy’s fur. He wagged his tail, nipping and licking at Tony’s face while he attempted to help him get dry. “Uh-uh, no way, don’t even try making it up to me now.”

Buddy stared at him, with wide brown eyes. Tony melted.

“You’re just lucky you’re Pete’s stray or else I’d take you straight to the pound.”

*

Tony tried to ignore it.

He squeezed his eyes shut and clung onto to sleep, trying to block out the loud, repetitive and persistent barking. He groaned, and shifted under his covers, and burrowed his head under his pillow, holding the sides against his ears. It didn’t help, did not do a thing to block out the noise, but Tony wanted to pretend.

He thought Buddy would tire out and let him sleep.

Tony had no reason to think this, other than being overly optimistic, or maybe, more likely, in denial. He’d suffered through three mornings with Buddy. All three of those went the same way. The dog was an alarm clock without a snooze button. A needy, attention hungry pile of golden fluff that refused to let Tony sleep past ten.

In the past, anxiety and nightmares would not let him rest, and now, that grief and depression sapped his energy dry, it was Buddy who would not let him sleep stay sleeping.

Life, he supposed, was unfair that way.

Tony lifted his head from under the pillow and opened his eyes.

Buddy stared back at him, looking serious and intent. He barked.

“Go away.”

Buddy stuck his head up into the air and howled.

“Alright, alright, Jesus, _mom_,” said Tony, raising up, out from under the covers. “I’m up.”

The golden retriever ran out of the bedroom once he saw Tony put his feet on the floor, his claws scrapping against the wood as he went, just another example of how damn noisy that animal was.

If he wasn’t barking, he was howling. If he wasn’t howling, his tail was thudding against the floor or the wall, in a rhythm only Buddy understood, reminding Tony of the way Peter used to tap his pencil against his notebook when he concentrated.

Tony slipped on pajamas pants and headed down to the kitchen, before Buddy got impatient and started howling again. When he passed by the room Pepper designated as the nursey, he stuck his head in and looked at the paint and brushes she had laid out in the center of the room.

They were unused, and the walls were still off-white.

He shook his head and continued downstairs, on to his morning routine, which consisted only of eating pop-tarts and watching TV with his dog. He plopped down on the couch, ripped the tin foil off the first packet and laid it down for Buddy, then opened his and took a bite.

“Breakfast of champions,” said Tony. Buddy was too busy eating and licking up crumbs off the couch to bark his usual agreement. “That’s right. Good boy. Get rid of the all evidence.”

Pepper didn’t like him feeding Buddy human food, but Tony couldn’t help it. Buddy didn’t seem to like the dog food very much and Tony couldn’t blame him. The stuff looked and smelled disgusting.

Tony mindlessly flipped through the channels as he ate, with an actual, physical remote, since he hadn’t bothered with installing FRIDAY into the cabin yet. He stopped when Buddy started barking and landed on a channel that displayed two cloaked figures fighting each other with laser swords.

“This?” asked Tony. Buddy barked, his head looking back and forth from Tony to the TV. “You watched this with Pete, huh? At least one of us made time for him.”

Tony put his thumb back on the button, about to push down, and keep channel surfing, when Buddy stopped him with a low, menacing growl.

“Okay, okay fine. We can watch this,” said Tony, but Buddy didn’t take his eyes off him until he put the remote down on the coffee table.

He barked, jumped off the couch and trotted out of the room, only to return seconds later with a teddy bear in his mouth. On his first night in the Stark cabin, he’d dug it out from one Peter’s boxes, and slept with it every night since. Familiar smells, Tony guessed, comforted him.

He jumped back up to sit next to Tony, eventually laying down, stretching his legs and his paws across Tony’s lap, then using his leg as a pillow, with that old ratty teddy bear still nestled in his mouth.

Tony let it happen, cuddled him, even, massaged his head and played with his ears as they both watched space wizards fight each other, movie after movie. They spent the entire day watching Star Wars, only stopping for bathroom breaks and that time between movies when Buddy sat in front of the fridge and howled until Tony made them both something to eat.

*

Tony woke up the next morning on his own, without any barking. His mind and his body automatically jolted him from his sleep before ten, proving to Tony that he wasn’t just being dramatic, the world really was off its hinges and as a result, everything was crooked.

He was supposed to be training the dog, but instead, the dog was training him.

When he opened his eyes, Buddy came into focus first. He was staring at him, with a paintbrush gripped between his teeth. His woof was muffled by the object he held.

Tony blinked.

“Not today, Buddy.”

He made a sound of disapproval and ran out of the room, only to return seconds later with his leash in his mouth, instead. Tony let out a breath. He didn’t have the heart to tell Buddy no twice in the span of a minute, so he forced himself out of bed, then forced himself to get dressed.

He didn’t regret it.

It turned out to be a perfect day to be walking around in the park, or rather, Buddy had taken a regular day and turned it into the perfect day. Tony watched him chasing and barking at ducks, smelling every new smell, letting random children pet him and pull on his ears. He was living it up, having the best time, and it was hard for Tony to remember he was miserable and sad watching Buddy attempt to play with stray cat, who hissed and swatted at him.

A little girl holding hands with her mother walked by as Buddy retreated from the cat with a whine, nursing a scratch on his nose.

“Cute dog,” said the girl. “Can I pet him?”

“You know, he’d really like that,” said Tony, watching the girl smile and reach her hand out. “He never says no to extra attention.”

She laughed, pet Buddy, who wagged his tail and sniffed her, then the girl and the mother continued on their way, saying thanks as they waved goodbye. Just for a few flickering seconds, Tony pictured Pepper and their child, here at this park, with him and Buddy, and for the first time, in a long time, he looked forward to the future.

*

Quiet moments were rare after Buddy joined the family, but when things got still and the noise in Tony’s head got loud, he would sit on the back porch with Buddy and watch the lake. That night, the breeze was gentle, and the moon was high. It’s light reflected in the water below.

Nature was peaceful and calm, and yet, all Tony could hear was Peter Parker and the words he said right before he died.

_I don’t wanna go_

That moment, those words, they replayed over and over. They stabbed at his heart and made him wish more than anything that it’d been him instead of Peter. That kid, he just really loved being alive, and the more Tony remembered him, the more that was evident, by his laugh and his smile and the way he threw himself into everything he did.

Thanos had wanted balance, but this balance wasn’t fair.

Buddy stared up at him from his resting place on the porch, next to his feet, and Tony refused to look down, into those eyes. It was too damn hard. Buddy, though, never liked to be ignored. He only tolerated it for a few minutes before he sat up and nudged Tony’s knee with his nose.

Tony forced a laugh, and gave in, just like he always did.

“I bet Peter loved you,” said Tony, giving him a good pet. “Spoiled you, probably, with the way you behave. I guess I should’ve listened to him more and took you in when he asked me. Let him have a dog while he was still here. Truth be told, bud, there’s probably a lot of things I should’ve done.”

Buddy titled his head at him, something Tony learned to associate with listening. Really, he was starting to believe he was losing his mind. He was starting to believe Buddy the golden retriever understood everything he said. Empathized with him. That the two of them were grieving Peter together, and they both understood the paralyzing silence he’d left behind.

“I should’ve-“ started Tony. He stopped. Closed his mouth, then opened it again, forcing the words out. He had to get it out. “He… he was my son, and I never told him how much he meant to me.”

Buddy laid his head down on Tony’s knee, and let out a sad, pitiful whine.

The admission was a heavy, heavy sorrow, that somehow got lighter after he spoke it out loud. Before he denied it for fear he’d be a repeat of Howard, and then, after the snap, he’d been denying it because it just hurt too much to admit he was a grieving father.

Speaking the words out loud opened up something in him that took him by surprised.

Tony needed to feel close to Peter again, even if he knew it would hurt.

“You like cheeseburgers, boy?”

Buddy perked up with a bark and wagged his tail furiously.

“Of course you do, let’s get out of here.”

*

Plastic crinkled under Tony as he shifted his position in the booth. Buddy sat across the table from him, in his own booth seat, and they were silent while they waited for the waitress to come around and take their order. They were just man and dog, waiting for their cheeseburgers come and their grief to end.

Tony knew he’d be waiting forever.

He wouldn’t ever get over losing Peter Parker, but he could celebrate his life, by doing all the things Peter loved doing. He could still go out to diners after midnight and have cheeseburgers and remember the way Peter couldn’t ever eat without making a mess.

Tony hadn’t driven to their exact favorite burger joint, the one in Queens they had eaten at together, countless times before, but the one he found had the same vibe, the same checkered floor and greasy smell in the air.

“What can I get for you two fellas?” asked the waitress, still grinning, still wildly amused by the way Tony bullied the manager on shift into letting Buddy come inside the diner and eat at a table.

“I’ll take a cheeseburger,” Tony told the waitress, “And he’ll have the same.”

Buddy barked three times.

“Scratch that, three cheeseburgers and a bowl of water for my friend,” said Tony, catching the eyes of a group of men that sat at a table across restaurant. “What are you all staring at? It’s a dog, alright? What? Never seen a guy having burgers with his dog before?”

The men went back to their own business, whispering with raised eyebrows, and the waitress took the menus and walked off towards the kitchen. Their food arrived in under fifteen minutes, and together, Tony and Buddy went to work on their burgers.

It just was the sort of absurdity Peter lived for.

Really, he just lived for anything, no matter how absurd or crazy. Cheeseburgers at midnight, Star Wars marathons, school trips to places the rest of his classmates considered boring, and, the thought hit him sudden and hard, his new baby sibling.

If he’d had the chance to know about baby Stark, he would’ve been excited, would’ve happy for him.

He would’ve bought Spider-Man onesies and Iron Man plushies. He would’ve swung to the tower with late-night pints of ice cream for Pepper.

He would’ve helped Tony paint the nursery.

“For Peter,” said Tony, holding up his burger, the same way a champagne chute would be held during a toast. Buddy gave a quiet, sorrowful howl, then they both finished their meals.

On the drive back to the cabin, Tony cranked the music up and drove with the windows down, allowing Buddy to stick his head out the window. His ears flopped around with the wind, and his tail thudded against the car seat to the rhythm Back in Black as it blasted through the speakers.

*

“Are they closed?” asked Tony, as he pulled Pepper down the hallway by her hand, with his other hand covering her eyes. “You gotta keep them closed.”

“_Yes_, Tony, they’re closed, just like they were five second ago.”

Tony took his hand away from her eyes and hooked it with Pepper’s free hand, walking backwards into the nursery and stopping only once they got into the center.

“Alright, you can open them.”

Tony watched Pepper’s eyes open and look around the freshly painted nursery. He’d taken it a step further, and put in the crib, a rocking chair, a changing table, anything and everything they’d need when baby Stark arrived.

“Do you like it?”

“I love it,” said Pepper. “It’s perfect, Tony. Thank you.” 

Tony dropped her hands, only to pull her closer, into a hug. “I know I’ve been, uh – “

“Spacey? Distant?”

“Yeah, both those things,” said Tony. “I just want you to know, I’m all in. This is our second chance and we’re gonna make the most of it.”

Pepper let out a breath, and her body relaxed against his, for the first time, in a long time. They held each other in the middle of their new nursery and Tony was happy, grateful, even, that they still had each other, even if there were so many that were lost.

“Tony?”

“Yeah?”

“Why are there paw prints on my wall?”

“Buddy wanted to help,” said Tony, smiling, at the memory of Buddy dipping his paws into the baby blue paint and then jumping up on the wall, splattering it everywhere. He’d gotten another bath after that. A real one. With dog shampoo Tony had ordered off the internet.

“You and the damn dog,” laughed Pepper.

“I can paint over it.”

“Don’t. I like it.”

Tony nodded and let himself get lost in the moment. He had his dog and his wife and a baby on the way. There was sun streaming in through the windows, and there was paw prints on the wall.

He still wasn’t okay, but he believed one day, he could be. For just that moment, Tony allowed himself to consider that it might be enough.


	2. brother and sister

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy sunday!! please enjoy more peter-as-a-dog nonsense!!

Morgan Stark came into the world screaming, while her mother shouted curse words at her father, and the nurses tried not to laugh. Tony suspected their muffled chuckling had been directed at him. He couldn’t blame them. He was screaming, too.

Nothing had prepared him for the delivery room, and having, barely, lived through it, Tony knew there was nothing on earth or in space that could’ve. Not for Pepper’s angry shouting or her death threats or her breaking every bone in his right hand with her crushing grip, but mostly, not for the realness of the hospital, with all its beeping machines and nurses walking in and out, checking baby Stark’s progress.

Being there had made it real in a way talking about it hadn’t. They had walked into the hospital a married couple with a dog, but they would walk out with an infant.

A daughter.

A second chance Tony knew he’d never bounce back from if it crumbled to dust the same way the first chance had.

That thought had made him panic, had made the room spin and blur, and his hand slipped out of Pepper’s grip.

“Maybe I should give Rhodey a call,” he told her. The contractions had been far apart. There was still time. “Check on Buddy… maybe Rhodey can sneak him in.”

The death glare Pepper gave at the comment was answer enough and made him scurry out of the room when she ordered him to go and fetch some more ice chips. He’d been happy for the break, and after getting the cup of ice chips from a nurse, he stalled outside the door to their hospital room, his hand eventually finding his cellphone in his pocket automatically.

“Are you sure this is a dog, man?” asked Rhodey, as a way of saying hello. “He’s creepy as hell.”

Tony frowned. Only he was allowed to make fun of his dog. “You know what they say, Rhodey. Takes creepy to know creepy.”

“Mature and original,” said Rhodey. “Seriously, though, something’s wrong with him. He keeps bringing me that picture of you and Pete and barking at it.”

“He misses me.”

“He’s not eating his food.”

“That’s because you’re giving him the dog food Pepper bought,” said Tony. “He won’t eat it. You gotta cook his meals.”

Pepper meant well. She didn’t want Buddy getting sick, but what she didn’t know was Tony had been giving him regular foods behind her back. He’d yet to get sick, so Tony figured it was pretty safe. Plus, he had googled what meals were okay for dogs. He _was_a genius, after all.

“I’m not cooking for a dog, Tones,” said Rhodey, then sighed. “How’s Pepper doing, anyway? When’s my niece getting here?”

“Not soon enough,” said Tony, flexing his hand. “Pep’s doing great. You know her.” Just then, he heard her shouting for him on the other side of the door. “I gotta go. Do yourself a favor and throw a couple of burgers on the grill. It’ll stop the barking. He gets cranky when he’s hungry.” 

Tony hung up before Rhodey had a chance to respond, then rejoined his wife, who continued screaming at him.

After that it’d been a blur of screaming, hand squeezing, and obscenities, that all ended when Morgan Stark arrived, wailing, covered in disgusting goo the nurses cleaned off before evaluating her. Morgan was declared a healthy baby girl, and handed back to Pepper, swaddled in a blanket and with a tiny pink cap on her head.

At some point, they might have switched rooms. Tony didn’t know. Through all that chaos, he could only focus on his daughter, on how small and perfect she was.

He was sat on the edge of Pepper’s bed, looking down at her, _at Morgan_, while Pepper held her against her chest. The lights were dim, and it was quiet, besides the persistent beeps of medical machinery. It was awhile before either of them spoke, and naturally, the first words belonged to Tony.

“I miss Buddy,” he said.

Pepper gave a small, tired laugh, and he let her believe he was joking. He really did want his dog. It seemed wrong, somehow, that his sister was here, and he wasn’t around to meet her. If Peter couldn’t be here, he’d at least like Buddy to be.

She passed Morgan over to him. The transfer was smooth, they were already naturals, and Morgan didn’t stir from her sleep.

“I’m crashing out,” said Pepper, her eyes were already sliding shut. “You should get some sleep, too.”

Tony cradled his daughter and looked over at the bassinet the nurses had rolled it. He couldn’t possibly put her down in there. It was too lonely, too empty, too cold. Besides, Tony had read the books. While mom was resting after doing the terrifyingly impossible, it was time for dad and daughter to bond.

“I just need a few more minutes with her,” he said. Pepper smiled with her eyes shut and gave a slow nod as she drifted off. She had no way of knowing, but he held Morgan the rest of the night.

*

There was a giant teddy bear in the backseat of Tony’s car. Also, his daughter. She was fast asleep, tucked safely away in her car seat and beneath a thin blanket as Tony drove the car up their driveway and parked.

Buddy waited for them out on the front porch. He stood up, and wagged his tail, as Tony slid out from the driver’s side door. He didn’t run or jump or bark or do any of things he usually did when he was happy and excited, like he knew and understood they had a tiny infant in the backseat to unload.

Tony unfastened the car seat and lifted his daughter out of the car, taking special care not to bump it against the car as he did.

His daughter. Three days and he still wasn’t used to it. Every time he remembered he got the same rush of happiness, followed by pangs of panic and disbelief. The universe never let him feel this happy, at least, not for very long.

Buddy watched them with a titled head as him and Pepper approached the porch. Rhodey appeared from the front door, just in them to greet them.

“There she is,” said Rhodey. He made a move for the car seat, but Tony swatted his hand away.

“Not yet,” Tony told him. “She has to meet her brother first.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“He’s being completely serious,” said Pepper. “As serious as he was about sneaking the dog in the room when I had her coming out of me.”

Rhodey made a disgruntled face. “I don’t even outrank the dog?”

“Nope,” said Tony, as he put the car seat down on the porch and began working the buttons, unlatching her, then gently picking her up while she slept.

Buddy sat. Waited. Stayed completely still until Tony brought her over to him and crouched down to show him.

“She’s here, bud. This is Morgan.”

Buddy took a couple of steps forward and put his nose near Morgan’s small body, sniffing her, but never touching her with his nose. He gave her hand a small lick, then backed up. His tail wagged faster. He looked up at Tony, lifted his nose to the air and gave a quiet bark.

“We’re so glad you approve,” said Pepper, with a laugh.

“Great, he loves her,” said Rhodey, deadpanned. “Now let me meet my niece.”

Tony allowed Rhodey to take Morgan from his hands, and once she was safely transferred, shifted his full attention on Buddy, giving him some good pets while he blocked out all the disgusting baby talk Rhodey tormented Morgan with.

“That’s your sister,” said Tony, rubbing Buddy’s ears. “You gotta protect her.”

Buddy made a snarl that sounded offended as he backed up out of Tony’s reach. Something he interpreted as _of course_. Tony didn’t know if he could understand Buddy because he was starting to learn dog language, or if it was because he was just losing his mind. Probably, though, Tony thought, as he stared at his dog, after being gone for three days, it was because Buddy didn’t speak dog.

“Tony,” said Rhodey. “Is that a giant teddy bear in your car?”

“Yep.”

“Isn’t Morgan, uh, too small to appreciate it?”

“Oh, it isn’t for Morgan,” said Pepper.

“You’re joking – “

“You know what’s weird?” asked Tony, cutting him off. “Buddy doesn’t look starved and he isn’t whining for food.”

Rhodey’s eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened.

“You cooked for him, didn’t you?”

“I had to do something to stop the whining,” said Rhodey. “That dog’s just like you. Never shuts up.” He turned, and walked back inside the cabin, taking Morgan with him as he went.

“He cooked for a dog,” repeated Tony, for Pepper’s benefit. He didn’t think she was appreciating the moment as much as she could’ve been. It was always a sport to get Rhodey to do the things he claimed he wouldn’t do, one Tony liked to win.

“Good luck getting that bear out of the car,” was all Pepper said, as she followed Rhodey and Morgan inside, leaving Tony on the porch, alone with Buddy. He didn’t mind it, though. He really had missed his dog.

*

Tony’s life became something lame after bringing Morgan home, like something from a cheesy sit-com, where everything always worked out in the span of twenty-two minutes.

He decided he liked it.

The peace, the quiet, the sitting by the lake with his wife, his daughter, his dog.

He liked the midnight feedings, where he would sit with Pepper as she fed Morgan, and they would chat in low voices - learning secrets about each other they never knew existed - while Tony absentmindedly scratched Buddy between the ears. He sat between them every time Morgan screamed them all out of their dreams, wanting to be fed, or Tony’s favorite, just wanting to be held. 

He’d been afraid holding her would bring anxiety and panic, would be flashbacks to holding Peter as he drifted away. It wasn’t. It was nothing like that, and he found the only difficult part was putting her down.

Tony held her as much as possible, in his hands, or nestled against his chest in the kangaroo carrier while he did the dishes and Pepper wiped down the counter tops and Buddy licked crumbs off the floor. 

He liked that they were together, the four of them, all the time, even if it his heart still ached knowing they’d never all be together with Peter included. He wouldn’t be coming to visit on weekends. He wouldn’t ever hold Morgan. He wouldn’t be around to teach her bad puns, or tell her about his adventures as Spider-Man.

So, Tony told his stories for him. Morgan was too young to understand, but the books said they should be talking to her, anyway. He might as well tell her stories and preserve Peter’s memory at the same time. Besides, it soothed his heart the same way eating cheeseburgers in a diner with Buddy did.

To further preserve his memory, Tony took the picture of him and Pete off his nightstand, gave it a nicer frame and put it up in the kitchen, so when they were eating dinner, or cleaning up after it, Peter could be there, too. Plus, he had to get it out of Buddy’s reach. He kept stealing it and bringing it to guests as they showed up to meet baby Morgan.

She had tons of visitors during her first few weeks, but as weeks turned into months, they became fewer and fewer, until three months had passed by, which meant it was time for Pepper to return to the office. Tony’s four would be cut to three, at least during the day.

“Just stay home with us one more month,” said Tony. He sat on their bed with Morgan in his arms and with Buddy lying right by his side. 

“You know I can’t do that,” Pepper told him. She was rustling around in the closet, searching through her office clothes, hoping to find something that would fit post-pregnancy.

“A week.”

“Tony.”

“We’re gonna fall apart without you, Pep.”

She turned and walked out of the closet, a suit jacket inside a plastic clothes bag in hand. “SI_is _falling apart without me.” She kissed him on the forehead. “But I have complete faith in you.”

Tony looked down at his three-month-old. He was entirely sure she would be just like her mother. That one day she’d be running SI with as much grace and competence. Then he looked at Buddy and imagined him sitting up in the CEO’s office at SI, in the computer chair, staring into a screen with glasses on his face.

Somehow, the image didn’t feel completely ridiculous, or even unlikely.

*

“I’m building a time machine,” said Tony, as he wrapped his arm around Pepper. They were sitting together on the couch, sipping hot chocolate with a slight kick, and watching and listening as Morgan babbled to Buddy. “She’s getting too big. We gotta freeze time and put a stop to it.”

It was a cliché, Tony knew. He had rolled his eyes plenty of times before when he was forced to make small talk and had to listen to parents talk about how quickly kids grew up. You blink, they’d say, and you’d miss it.

Except Tony hadn’t blinked.

He had been there when Morgan laughed for the first time. It was the best sound he’d ever heard. He had been there, with his eyes wide open, when Morgan stood up for the first time. Not by herself, but by hanging onto to Buddy, who was always so gentle and allowed her to pull at his fur. He and Pepper watched and cheered when she took her first steps, neither of them surprised she was an early walker.

He’d seen it all. Every milestone, but still, he _felt _like he blinked. He felt like he was two seconds away from dropping her off at college. Maybe he could convince her to live at home, when the time came.

Then he remembered she was a Stark and a Potts, and already showing her stubborn independence.

He took another sip of hot chocolate. “I mean it, Pep. I’m gonna freeze time.”

“You’d get bored.”

“Of this?” asked Tony. He pressed a sloppy kiss into her cheek, leaving it wet with traces of hot chocolate. “Never.”

She made a noise of disgust and wiped her cheek off with a blanket, and Tony went back to listening and watching his daughter carry on a conversation with Buddy. She babbled. He barked back. They were communicating and Tony couldn’t understand it. A part of him was jealous. He used to be the only one who could decipher Buddy’s barks.

“So, what do you think it will be?”

Tony put his attention back on Pepper.

“Her first word,” Pepper elaborated. “Her first real word.”

“Oh, that’s easy. Definitely dad,” said Tony. “It’s clear she loves me most.”

Pepper gave a small laugh and shook her head, eventually lying it down on his chest.

He really did need that time freezing machine, if only to stretch out moments like this as long as possible. There was dread clawing at the back of his mind telling him peace wouldn’t last forever, that the universe would never really allow Tony Stark to keep his happiness.

Two days after their conversation with hot chocolate, Morgan said her first word. It was Buddy, and Tony was too proud to care that he’d been wrong.

*

All eyes were on Morgan Stark. She had just turned one, and already commanded attention just like Tony-of-the-past at a Stark Expo. She looked around, grinning at all the adults who had phone cameras pointed her way, then smashed her hand down in the purple and green cake.

She laughed and threw a chuck of icing and cake at Happy, who was sitting at the picnic table near where her highchair sat. It missed, fell to the ground, and that was when Buddy moved in, completely ready for his chance to lick it up off the grass. 

“Hey, no, I don’t think so,” yelled Tony, wagging his finger at Buddy, his tone causing the dog to look up and stare. “No chocolate for you. That stuff will kill you.”

Buddy looked at Tony, and he whined.

“Lucky for you, I thought ahead,” said Tony, tapping a small, plain white box that sat on top of the picnic table. Buddy barked, and jumped up, taking a seat next to Happy, while Tony unboxed the cake and slid it across the table for him.

Buddy didn’t waste a second. His nose and mouth went directly inside the cake.

“Let me get this straight,” said Happy. “You bought a whole cake? For the dog?”

“No,” said Pepper, sitting down next to Tony. “He drove all the way into the city, to the pet bakery, to buy a cake just for the dog.”

Tony looked back at Morgan. She was finally starting to understand the cake wasn’t just for throwing and was licking the icing she scrapped off the top from her fingers. He grinned at her, before shifting his attention back to Happy, Pepper, and Rhodey.

“I didn’t want him to feel left out,” said Tony.

Rhodey laughed at the same time Happy sneezed.

“Does he have to eat it at the table?” asked Happy, his eyes red and his nose runny.

“Of course he does. He’s family, and he likes sitting next to his uncle Happy.”

Buddy stopped eating long enough to put his head in the air and bark an affirmative. Chucks of chewed cake and icing sprayed out from his mouth, flying in every direction. Morgan giggled from her highchair, and Tony didn’t even try to suppress the laugh that escaped him. Nor did Pepper.

“This isn’t funny, you know I’m allergic to dogs,” said Happy, before blowing his nose inside a handkerchief.

“That’s not a dog, man,” said Rhodey, shaking his head. 

Tony grimaced as Happy threw the used handkerchief out on the table, and reached into his pocket, for the extra, clean one Tony knew he kept there.

He never got the chance to use it, though. Buddy saw an opportunity, and he took it. He snatched the handkerchief from Happy’s hand, jumped away from the table with it in his mouth, and ran several ran away from the table before stopping.

“Hey!” shouted Happy, turning around in his seat.

Buddy stared back at him. Wagging his tail. He dropped the handkerchief on the ground.

“Are you gonna do anything about this?” asked Happy.

“What? He just wants to play.” 

Tony could’ve warned his friend. He’d been a victim of this game Buddy liked to play too many times to count, but Tony wasn’t the type to warn his friends. Being entertained by them was so much better.

Happy stood up, and approached, but when he reached down to take his handkerchief, Buddy snatched it back off the ground and ran off with it just like before, leaving Happy in his dust. He stopped running once he got to the lake, and put the handkerchief back on the ground, wagging his tail and barking.

Happy, the fool, chased after him again, and again, while Morgan shrieked with laughter.

“Go Buddy! Go!” she shouted, bouncing in her highchair and laughing, watching them, and ignoring her demolished cake.

Tony shifted his attention back and forth between Morgan and Happy, who was still chasing his dog and shouting death threats. It was a perfect day, and more evidence that he needed a time freezing machine.

Or maybe, even, one that turned the clock backwards.

*

“Tony…”

“We can’t,” said Tony. He had Morgan in his arms, and he refused to put her down. “She can’t sleep in here all by herself.”

“She’s one, it’s time,” said Pepper. “Do you want her sleeping in our bedroom until she’s eighteen?”

Tony didn’t give her an answer. Instead, he looked down at Morgan. She was tuckered out from her birthday party. So tired, even, she’d fallen asleep in the bathtub while Tony was trying to get icing out of her hair. Probably, she’d sleep through the night and not even notice she was in a different room, but Tony would notice.

He wasn’t ready.

“What do you think is going to happen to her? We’re just right down the hall.”

“The boogey man might eat her.”

“Tony- “

“-I’m serious,” he said. “She’s too young to be on her own, Pep. Maybe when she’s two, we can discuss it.”

Pepper gave him that look. The one that told him he was being ridiculous, and the conversation was over. “Kiss your daughter goodnight, then come to bed.”

She left Morgan’s bedroom, and Tony listened to her footsteps slip down the hallway, while he stared down at Morgan. Carefully, he laid her down in the crib, but couldn’t bring himself to walk away, or even take his hand off the railing. 

A debate played in his head as he watched his daughter sleep. He was considering the most comfortable spot in her room to sleep, the floor, or sitting up, in the rocking chair by the window. Before he could figure it out, Buddy backed into the room, using all his strength to drag his giant teddy bear through the doorway.

Tony watched as he dragged it all the way to the window, before laying on top of it and giving him a solemn stare. He’d gotten it for him to replace the old, ratty bear that came with him from the Parker’s apartment. It hadn’t worked. Buddy still clung to it, still carried it around in his mouth, but he loved the giant bear, too.

He used it as a dog bed, and Tony understood, even without barking, what him dragging it in to Morgan’s bedroom meant.

“You’re gonna watch over her for me?” 

Buddy raised his head up, then laid it back down on the teddy bear’s ear, as if to say _I’m not going anywhere._

Tony took his hands from the crib’s metal rails, walked across the room, crouched down, and rubbed Buddy’s ear with his right hand. “I should have known. You always have my back.”

He gave one last look into Morgan’s crib as he moved on towards his bedroom and slipped into bed next to Pepper. He didn’t sleep well, but he did sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thanks to frostysunflowers for reading over this and having the idea of the giant teddy bear, it was something lame at first and this fic wouldn't be the same without Cleo, and also ArdenSkyeHolmes who listens to me talk about this fic and has good insight and puts up with me talking about alligators walking around in pet stores 
> 
> anywwwaayyys next chap is christmas fluff! which is my favorite kind!! 
> 
> kudos and/or comments tell me what you think!! 
> 
> [come shout at me on tumblr](https://hailing-stars.tumblr.com)


	3. christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy Sunday!! here's some christmas fluff

“Dad!”

Tony didn’t look up from his phone, but he knew Morgan was trying to race off towards the pond for two reasons.

The first was the same reason Tony wanted to burst into song every time someone told him you’re welcome. Morgan had Moana on repeat at the cabin since she discovered it months ago. The songs never disappeared from Tony’s mind, and the desire to chase after bodies of water never disappeared from Morgan’s.

The second was more obvious. It was the leash in his hand, being pulled at and tugged on, by the three-year-old on the other end.

“Daaddd,” Morgan repeated. “Come on, I wanna go look at the water.”

Tony looked up and over at dock resting in pond. Ice chucks were breaking apart and melting, and the water glistened with sunlight poking out from behind the clouds. It was a strangely warm day for early December. The perfect sort of day for walking around their favorite park, or at least, it would’ve been if Nat wasn’t blowing up his phone with distracting text messages. 

His cellphone buzzed and his screen lit up, and even though Morgan was pulled on her leash and Buddy tried to get his attention by nudging his hand with his nose, Tony felt compelled to look at them.

“Just a minute, little miss,” said Tony. He looked at Buddy and gave him the end of Morgan’s kid leash. “Here. Hold this.”

Buddy took the leash in his mouth and sat down, freeing up Tony to read Nat’s messages. They were the same as always. Nothing new. Just updates on her children’s home, on whatever that flying space girl was doing in space, on hopeless things Tony didn’t care to read about.

As a reply, he snapped a picture of Buddy holding the leash in his mouth with Morgan in the background, still trying to reach the water’s edge. He pushed send and pocketed his phone, hoping Nat would get the message. That he had better things to look at than her text messages that dwelled on the past.

He was moving and moved on. She should, too.

“Tony.”

He turned and saw Pepper marching towards them.

“You brought the leash,” said Pepper, her voice clipped, annoyed. “Our daughter is on a leash, but our dog isn’t.”

“Honey, she darts,” said Tony. “When she’s as responsible as the dog, she can come off the leash.”

Buddy barked his agreement, the leash slipping through his teeth as he did, sending Morgan tumbling to the ground in a faceplant. Tony and Pepper paused, preparing to dry tears, but Morgan just giggled, stood up and tried wiping the mud off her clothes, only smearing it around even more.

“You’re on bath duty tonight,” Pepper told him, as Tony offered her his arm and she accepted it. “For both our kids.”

Together, with Buddy following close behind, and Tony back in control of the leash that prevent Morgan from drowning herself in the pond, they finally walked over to the dock and watched the ice chucks floating in around in the water, appreciating that one sunny day December had to offer.

*

Tony was crouched down in front of the fireplace, adjusting fuzzy reindeer ears on top of Buddy’s head with one hand and his phone out and ready to snap a picture in his other. When they were near to perfect, Tony scooted backward and stood up. He wasn’t fast enough though, but before he could get his picture, Buddy had laid down on the floor and swiped the ears off with his front paws.

“Don’t be like that,” said Tony, crouching back down and picking up the reindeer ears. “It’s cute.”

Buddy groaned and covered his eyes with his paws.

“Don’t you wanna be a reindeer?”

Buddy huffed a growl.

“Morgan will love it.”

He uncovered his eyes and his tail slowly started to wag, and after a few seconds, he sat up and allowed Tony to readjust the ears. Buddy didn’t try taking them off that time. Just stared at Tony, looking sad and pathetic and like he’d rather be going off to a vet appointment.

“Now stay still,” said Tony. He lifted his phone back up, but just as he was clicking on his camera app, Morgan sprinted into the living room, wielding a plastic sword.

She stopped, took one look at Buddy, then ripped the ears off him. “He doesn’t like those, dad.”

Tony dropped his phone hand down to his side in defeat. With children and dogs, it was impossible to get a good picture.

“Wanna play princess dragon with me?” Morgan asked Buddy, while she whacked her father in the knees with the sword.

Buddy barked and followed her out of the room, and in spite, stepping on the reindeer ears as he trotted along after her.

They skidded across the floor, and with a sigh of defeat, Tony picked them up. He put them on his own head and settled with a selfie, hoping it was wild and ridiculous to get the message across to Nat, or at the very least, make her smile.

*

Putting Morgan to bed on Christmas Eve turned out to be the most difficult feat Tony had ever been tasked with.

She had ideas, about trapping Santa, and meeting the reindeers, and maybe an elf, and it didn’t matter how times Tony tried explaining to her Santa would not come until she was asleep. She was persistent. She escaped her bedroom on four different occasions armed with her plastic sword, that Tony regretted buying immensely.

“Go to sleep,” said Tony, plopping her back on her bed, after wrestling the sword away from her grip. “Or I’m telling Santa to leave you coal.”

Morgan giggled, then looked up at Tony with big, brown eyes. “Tell me a story? One about my spider brother.”

Tony never missed an opportunity to talk about Peter, so he was persuaded. At some point during the bedtime story, Buddy joined them and laid down at the end of Morgan’s bed. By the time he was finished, Morgan was drifting off, with that look in her eyes that told Tony he was hovering somewhere between awake and asleep.

“Daddy,” she said, shifting around under the blankets. “I know Pete’s in heaven, but sometimes I feel like he’s here with us.”

“Yeah, me too,” Tony told her, running a hand through her hair. “Now go to sleep, so Santa will bring the gifts.”

Morgan’s eyes finally fell shut, for real, that time. Tony could tell by her breathing, and how peaceful she looked, that this wasn’t another fake-out.

He took a few seconds. Watched her chest moving up and down, then left her room and headed to the kitchen, with Buddy following close behind him.

Tony went straight for Santa’s cookies, savoring every bite, until he realized Buddy was sat in the middle of the kitchen floor. Staring at him.

“What?” asked Tony. He waged a half-eaten cookie at him “Don’t give me that look. You’re old enough to know these were never really for Santa.”

Buddy barked, loud and mad.

“Hey, quiet it down,” said Tony, in a low voice. “I just got the gremlin to sleep.”

Buddy made a low noise Tony interrupted as a grumble, and laid down on the floor, looking up at him with sad eyes. It was all that talk about Peter. Sometimes Tony forget just how much Buddy missed him, too.

Tony put his cookie back down on the plate and crouched down next to his dog, massaging his ears.

“What do you wanna do, huh? Wanna go out for burgers? At our spot?”

Their diner probably wasn’t open on Christmas Eve, but Tony could break in. Grill his own burgers. He could do that. For Buddy.

Buddy jumped up and darted out of the room. When he came back, he had his favorite, bright yellow tennis ball in his mouth. His tail was wagging. He was giving Tony big, brown puppy dog eyes.

“Ok, fine,” said Tony. “Let me get my coat.”

Tony suited up with snow boots and coat, then headed outside, in the frigid, winter air. He snowman him, Morgan, and Pepper made was still standing over by the icy lake. His nose was missing. Tony suspected Gerald. That little shit.

Buddy dropped his tennis ball and ran to the side of the house, forcing Tony to stick his hand into the freeze to pick it up and clog through the snow to follow him.

The dog finally stopped once he got to a clear patch of snow, on the side of the yard Morgan had yet to trample through. He dug his nose around in the fresh snow, and it took Tony a few seconds to realize Buddy wasn’t just playing in the snow. He was _drawing_ something.

Once his was finished, he sneezed snow off his nose, and sat down, his tail wagging back and forth as he looked up at Tony, like a childhood showing off a crayon drawing.

Tony’s breath caught. In the snow, he had written the word Underoos, with a backwards R and an upside-down E. Had Tony ever referred to Peter as Underoos around Buddy? Tony couldn’t remember, but he must have, because that was the only explanation he could wrap his mind around.

“I always knew you were a genius, boy,” said Tony. “I – I know, I really miss him, too.”

Buddy groaned, again, and his tail stopped wagging. He walked over and nudged Tony’s hand, the one that held the ball.

They fell into a rhythm under the bright, winter stars, in the calm of Christmas Eve. Throw, run, return, repeat. Each time Buddy ran back with the ball was one more time he trampled over the writing he’d made in the snow. He was back and forth, back and forth, until it was unreadable, until it was no more.

*

Tony walked into his bedroom and was assaulted by Christmas music, wrapping paper, and bows.

Pepper stood over their bed, ripping shiny blue wrapping paper off a dog toy Tony had tried to wrap according to her standard, but obviously, had failed. She gave him a look as he had walked closer and threw the Yoda dog toy at him. It hit his chest, squeaked, then fell to the floor by his feet, forcing Tony to pick it up.

“How many of those did you buy?” asked Pepper, a slight smile on her lips. She could pretend to be outraged by Tony spoiling both their child and their dog with toys on Christmas, but Tony knew she loved him for it.

“He needs the whole set,” said Tony, sinking down on their bed, causing heaps of torn wrapping paper to crinkle under him. He put Yoda down in the pile of other Star War toys Pepper had yet to wrap.

Most were dog toys for Buddy, but there were a few plastic lightsabers for Morgan, too.

“Yeah. The same way Morgan needed an alpaca.”

“She didn’t,” said Tony. “Gerald needed us.”

Gerald the alpaca joined their family of misfits on Morgan’s third birthday. She had wanted a petting zoo for her party, and had gotten one, and when she overheard the employees talking about sending Gerald off to an early retirement, she’d convinced Tony to write a check.

Tony had Gerald less than a day before they out figured why the petting zoo workers didn’t think he was fit to work. Gerald was a pain in his ass, so naturally, him and Buddy and Morgan all became fast friends.

“Tony, seriously?” asked Pepper. She unwrapped the red and gold, Iron Man, dog sweater. “You’re never going to get this thing on him.”

“Sure I will.”

“May I remind you of the time you tried getting him to wear a sweater?”

“That was different,” said Tony, snatching the dog sweater away from her and holding it up to see the Iron Man emblem and trying not to have flashbacks of a shredded AC/DC sweater. “He clearly has bad taste in music, but this… Pete will love this.”

After a few beats passed, and Pepper didn’t say anything, Tony lowered the sweater and looked at her. She was staring at him. With concern. A look in her eyes that was familiar, but one he hadn’t seen for years.

“What?”

“You know… you know that Buddy isn’t Peter, right?” she asked him, carefully. “That Peter’s gone?”

“What? Yeah, yeah of course,” said Tony. “Because that would be… just… ridiculous. That would be ridiculous.”

Pepper eyed him with suspicion, as if she didn’t quite believe him, but then, the moment passed, and she fixed him with a small smile. She took the sweater back from him and laid it flat on the bed, beginning to wrap it with precision only she could manage.

“Where’s Buddy, anyway?” she asked. “He’s being too quiet. It’s scaring me.”

A valid question, and even more valid concern. Every other night they wrapped presents, Buddy was outside the door, whining or trying to claw his way in. He was worse than a literal child about wanting to catch a peak of his presents early.

Tony stood up off the bed and walked over to the window. Down below, Buddy was visible, running around in the snow, near the icy lake, and near where Gerald was stood inside his stable. Buddy had refused to come back inside after Tony had decided he’d had enough of throwing the ball around. Almost as if his grief for Peter had turned into anger towards him.

“Running around,” answered Tony. “Blowing off some steam.”

He turned back in time to see Pepper fold the wrapping paper over the Iron Man sweater. Maybe he’d wait a couple of days before trying to make him wear it and snapping a picture. Maybe he’d wait until Buddy’s anger melted away with the snow.

*

Christmas morning turned Tony’s living room into a disaster zone. Torn wrapping paper laid about in piles, empty boxes and shiny new toys, both for dog and for child, were spread out all over. The toys went ignored, though, while Buddy rustled around in the wrapping paper and Morgan was sat inside a giant box, pretending she was a spaceship and about to shoot lasers into the Death Star.

They watched too much Star Wars in their house. Pete would be proud.

After they were done playing with the trash, Morgan and Buddy settled down on the couch and watched Morgan’s latest obsession, Frozen. She stretched out, used the dog as her pillow, and tapped her foot on the cushion to the beat of the songs. They were both distracted, and so Tony and Pepper saw the perfect opportunity to rid their living room of paper and cardboard.

Tony left the spaceship box behind, though, when he and Pepper bundled all the trash together to take out back to the waste bins. He’d never survive the whining if he didn’t.

It didn’t take them long to dispose of the trash. Just a few minutes, and then another few minutes on top of that to make the hot chocolate and put some cookies on a plate. Ten minutes, tops, but tragedies have happened in less time than that.

When they returned, there was a chill in the house. Their front door was sitting wide open.

“Morgan?” asked Tony, hurrying in the living room. He peaked over the top of the couch and saw, or didn’t see, exactly what he feared.

There was no daughter, no dog. Just Frozen playing for an empty room.

Tony was outside in seconds, with Pepper rushing along beside him. His sock covered feet tore through the snow, towards the lake, where he knew, without looking, that’s where Morgan had gone. When he did look up, when he finally forced himself to see, it was another fear confirmed.

Buddy and Morgan were in the lake. Morgan, with her arms locked around Buddy’s neck, and Buddy, trying to keep his head above the water, dog paddling with all the strength of a golden retriever.

Tony and Pepper both arrived at the water’s edge just as Buddy carried Morgan out of the lake. She was lifted up, and straight into Pepper’s arms, shivering, teeth chattering, too cold and scared to even cry.

“Mom - mommy,” she said, then coughed. “I’m sorry, I wanted to be like Elsa and walk on the ice, but I fell through.”

Tony looked dog as Buddy emerged from the water, slow and sluggish, whining a little.

“Please don’t be mad.”

“We’re not mad,” said Tony. He tore his eyes away from Buddy and put his hand through his daughter’s freezing, soaking hair. “Just promise, never again?”

“I promise. Is.. is Buddy going to be okay?”

“He’s going to be fine,” Pepper told her, killing the panic in not just Morgan, but also Tony. He didn’t know how she did it, how she remained so calm in terrifying situations. “Daddy’s going to take care of him while I get you all dried off, okay?”

“O-okay.” She clung onto to Pepper, borrowing her head in her neck.

Tony crouched down where Buddy lay in the snow, wrapped his arms around him and picked him up, carrying him as he trailed after Pepper back into the cabin. Once inside, she took Morgan upstairs, and Tony carefully placed Buddy in front of the fireplace before leaving him, just for a few seconds, to get some towels and on an impulse, Pepper’s hair dryer.

Buddy was still lying scarily still when Tony hurried back and began the hard work of getting him dry. He whined a little, and whimpered, when he watched Tony plug the hair dryer in, but didn’t try to escape. He stayed perfectly still as Tony dried him, and as Tony’s thoughts run wild with the worse possible version of that Christmas day.

He could’ve lost everything. In ten minutes. Two thirds of his world. Gone. Just like that. Just like snapping a finger.

Tony switched the hair dryer off and ran his hand across Buddy’s back. He was warm. He was dry. He was still breathing.

He let out a breath and closed his eyes, only blinking them open when he felt a paw on his knee. Buddy stared up at him, all wide brown eyes that stabbed at Tony’s chest, that threatened him with a truth Tony wasn’t ready to face.

He broke eye contact, and instead, rubbed the top of Buddy’s head.

“You glory hound,” said Tony. “You just can’t stop saving people, huh?”

Buddy responded with a bark. A real one. Something Tony needed to hear to fully understand that Buddy was truly okay.

He stood up, sudden, causing Tony to fall back on the palm of his hands, just watching as Buddy ran across the room, grabbed the red Iron Man dog sweater between his teeth, and ran back over. He dropped it in front of Tony, sat down, and looked at him expectantly.

“Is this a joke? Because that’s bad for an old man’s heart.”

Buddy barked at him, then nudged the sweater closer to him with his nose.

Tony smiled and pulled the sweater over him, lifting him up and helping him put his front two legs through the sleeves.

“I gotta say, boy,” said Tony. “Red’s your color. Wanna go show Pep? Can you believe she said you wouldn’t wear it?”

Buddy barked again and followed Tony up the stairs, his tail wagging as they went.

The next morning started the day Pepper gave up buying dog food and trying to get Buddy to eat it. She grilled him a steak for breakfast and let him eat at the table. He sat next to Morgan as she sipped the milk from her cereal. He wore his Iron Man sweater, and Morgan wore her Christmas pajamas.

Another perfect opportunity to snap a picture.

He took it, and for once, it didn’t get ruined.

Tony sent it to Nat, who finally decided to respond with something that wasn’t related to Avenger’s business.

_cute dog_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is endgame, it has to happen eventually
> 
> thanks so much for reading and being patient since I know these updates are coming slow, I'm hoping the last two chapters might post a little bit quicker but no promises
> 
> kudos and/or comments let me know what you think
> 
> [or come yell at me on tumblr](https://hailing-stars.tumblr.com)


	4. whatever it takes

“I don’t want to.”

“Morguna,” said Tony, looking back and forth, between the jet-ski bobbing in the lake water, and his little girl, who rocked from foot to foot on the dock. “It’s gonna be really fun. Are you sure?”

It was uncharacteristic for her to not want to try out one of the many inventions that came out of the garage. She loved trying out his crazy builds, loved it too much, actually, and so much that it sometimes scared Tony. That it made him believe Morgan was just a repeat of himself, with Pepper’s DNA mixed there to make her ten times as dangerous.

At least she had inherited Pepper’s common sense and intelligence along with Tony’s knack for blowing things up in the garage.

A breeze blew off the night, and Tony knelt down to swipe her hair out of her eyes. “Are you afraid?”

“What if I fall in, like before?” asked Morgan, staring down at the lake below.

“Daddy will catch you.”

“What if you can’t? What if you’re not there?”

It seemed like a ridiculous question. Of course Tony would be there. He wasn’t going to let Morgan drive a jet-ski around the lake by herself, but he knew her fear wasn’t in the future, it was in the past.

When Morgan had fallen through the ice, and into the water, he hadn’t been there. He’d been taking out the trash.

Never again. It was a vow the night of the near tragic Christmas, while he watched her sleep. He’d always be there for Morgan, and if, for some reason, he couldn’t be, he would make sure she and Pepper would be looked after.

“Hey, you know what?” asked Tony. “What if Buddy came with us? On the jet-ski?”

Behind her, Buddy’s head shot up from where he was sniffing the ground, searching for the squirrel that had escaped him and went up the tree he stood under. That mutt. He would hear his name being called if he were located on a planet in a different universe. Before Morgan could even answer, he was barking and running over to where they stood on the dock.

“Well now you have to,” said Tony. “For Buddy.”

Morgan gave him a small, sly smile, and nodded her head.

Just a few minutes later, after putting Morgan in a lifejacket and after wrestling one onto Buddy, the three of them sat on the jet-ski. Tony’s arms stretched over them both as his hands gripped the handlebars, and Morgan leaned into him, tense and scared, but trying her best to be brave.

It wasn’t so hard once Tony started up the engine and they took off from the dock. Buddy barked and Morgan laughed, and Tony never wanted the day to end.

But the sun did set, even if they did have dinner outside to try and stretch the day out as far as they could.

“Dad,” said Morgan, as Tony brought the covers up to her chin. “I’m sorry I was scared. I know Starks aren’t supposed to be afraid.”

“What? Who told you that?”

“I figured it out,” said Morgan. “You’re Iron Man.”

“Do you wanna hear a secret?”

Morgan smiled. She nodded her head.

“I’m afraid a lot,” he told her. “I just try to push through and keep going. That’s what Starks do.”

Tony kissed her on the forehead after they exchanged goodnights, then he headed back out to the garage, where another what of his insane projects lived. An armor in a shade of blue Tony had fallen in love with years ago.

He worked in the quiet, with Buddy by his side, occasionally passing him the tools he needed. Buddy always knew what he needed, and when, and Tony didn’t bother questioning it.

*

The end started as a perfect day, just like the end typically does.

Sunlight hit Tony as he stepped off the porch and into the yard, and the air was crisp as he walked towards Morgan’s play tent.

It was the perfect kind of weather. Weather where wearing a sweater was comfortable, but not required. Weather that wasn’t foreboding.

Weather that lied.

“Morguna,” said Tony, in a sing-song voice, as he sat down in her little wooden chair. From that angle, he could see Buddy’s tail popping out from under the tent, wagging back and forth in the dirt. “Morgan H. Stark. Want some lunch?”

“Define lunch, or be disintegrated,” said Morgan, as she appeared out from the tent. She wore Pepper’s rescue helmet, and had her arm outstretched, pointing a toy Iron Man blaster at him.

Tony took the helmet off her. “You should not be wearing this, okay? It’s part of a very special anniversary present I’m making mom.” He wiped some hair out of her face. “Where did you find it?”

“In the garage.”

He lowered his hands and gently took her little hand in his and rubbed his thumb across the worn, red cloth that surrounded the glow light that was supposed to be a blaster. “And this?”

“In Buddy’s boxes.”

Buddy barked and ran out from the tent. He pointed his nose at Morgan, then the blaster, then the helmet, and gave a series of happy barks while he did a half jump in the air. Tony translated his excitement into a pride. Look at their girl. Quizzical just like her dad. A thief, but a curious one.

Tony fought the smile from his face. He wasn’t the firm parent, so he failed.

“You mutt,” said Tony. He waged a finger at Buddy, who snapped his teeth at it and earned a giggle from Morgan. “You’re supposed to be watching her.”

Tony lifted Morgan off the ground by her legs, holding her with one hand and the rescue helmet in the other as he began walking back towards the cabin.

“You like going into the garage? So does daddy.”

Maybe one day he’d have a proper workshop again, like before, and maybe they would spend days or most likely nights there, like he and Pete used to do. Imagining what Morgan would be like, wondering who she would grow up to be, were the only moments Tony looked forward to the future instead of wanting to hit a pause button and freeze time.

He had an aching, dreadful feeling that time raced towards something he wouldn’t walk away from. That his time may stop, but the world would march on without him.

His feelings were echoed by Buddy, who out of nowhere, stuck his head up in the air and barked. Not his usual happy bark. A strange bark that was like a mix between a howl and growl. He barked, and barked, and kept barking, causing Tony to stop in his tracks and Morgan to shift around in his arm.

“Something’s wrong with Buddy, dad.”

Tony turned at the sound of gravel crunching under tires and saw the source of Buddy’s unrest. A car full of Avengers, pulling up and parking in his driveway.

Buddy bolted towards the car, barking, and as Steve Rogers opened his door and stepped outside, growled. His head was bowed low to the ground, like he was about to attack, while Steve, and now Nat and the ant-guy – Tony couldn’t remember his real name – stared at him.

“Are you going to call off the guard dog?” asked Steve.

Buddy growled louder and moved towards Steve.

“Easy boy,” said Tony.

As much fun as it’d be to see Buddy giving Steve a good bite on the ankle, he didn’t need Steve bleeding all over his yard.

Hesitantly, Buddy straightened out, and circled back to stand with Tony and Morgan, but planted himself between them, creating a barrier between the Avengers and Tony as they stared each other down.

*

They were tripping.

Nat and Steve and Scott sat on his porch and talked to him about time travel, while Buddy sat at his feet and occasionally groaned, letting them all know even the dog thought their ideas were ridiculous.

Tony could barely believe what he was hearing. The only part that didn’t take him off guard was that the first time the Avengers dropped by it was about business. That part was predictable. Nonsense about time travel wasn’t.

He listened, until he couldn’t anymore and until Morgan came out to rescue him.

He offered them dinner, if they could save him the speeches about time travel and duty, as he walked back inside his home with Morgan in his arms. Buddy followed him back inside, giving the Avengers one last angry bark as the door swung shut behind them.

*

Then Tony was tripping.

He was spraying himself in the face with the dish rinser, distracted by his own theories about time travel, distracted by a tiny spark of hope that was kindling in his chest. Hope that he would get to see Peter Parker smile again.

That he would get to hear his laugh.

That 3 AM phone calls would return, where Tony would shout at Peter for being an idiot and getting himself stabbed.

Or maybe, he’d wake up not to a phone call, but to a meme he didn’t really understand. He’d laugh and show Pepper anyway.

He took the picture of him and Pete holding the Stark Industries picture off the shelf, the one Buddy used to carry around the house and show anyone who would pay attention and dried it off with a towel. It stabbed at him the same way it always did, and when he put it back and turned, he saw Buddy standing in the doorway, staring at him.

Buddy’s eyes stabbed at him, too.

And they continued to stab him, even as Tony left the kitchen and walked into a sitting room he’d turned into a makeshift lab. He powered on his tech to run some numbers, and Buddy darted out of the room, only to return seconds later with his tail wagging and his tennis ball in his mouth.

“Not now, boy,” Tony told him. “Can’t you see the old man is trying to work?”

Buddy dropped the ball and it bounced against the floor. He barked, loud and clear, and somehow, Tony knew he was being called out. That Buddy knew what he was up to, and that he wasn’t going to allow it.

“Don’t be like that. It’s a fool’s mission, anyway. Time travel is impossible.”

And yet, there he was, trying to work through it.

Buddy barked again.

Tony pretended he didn’t hear him. He tore his eyes away from his dog, but before he could get started, Buddy was under the table, tugging at his pant leg, trying to drag him away from his work.

With a sigh, Tony knelt down to the floor and messaged Buddy’s ears, realizing that the only way he’d get to work in peace was if he tricked Buddy into going into Morgan’s room and locked him in.

He didn’t feel great about it, felt even worse as he softly shut the door and heard Buddy’s quiet, sad whine, but he had to do it.

Time travel wouldn’t solve itself, and Tony’s mind wouldn’t stop racing with the possibilities unless he tried and failed.

*

“Shit.”

“Shit,” repeated Morgan.

Tony’s finger flew in front of his lips as he turned to his side and saw Morgan sitting on the staircase watching him, with her arm over Buddy, who sat at her side.

“No. We don’t say that word. That’s mommy’s word. She coined it.”

“What are you doing up?”

“I had some important shit going on in here, what do you think?”

Morgan tilted her head and gave him a quizzical look. Tony tried to take a mental picture. To remember that look forever, and probably, he would. He had a gut-wrenching theory his forever wasn’t as long as he wanted it to be.

“No, I – I had something on my mind.”

“So… it’s not because you’re scared?”

“Scared? No – why would daddy be scared?”

Morgan looked down at Buddy and ran her fingers through his fur. “Buddy’s scared _because_ you’re scared. Animals feel our emotions. Mommy read it to me from a book.”

Tony stared back at his daughter and wondered what kind of books, exactly, Pepper was reading to her. She was too smart, too perceptive, for her own good. Just like Buddy, the dog who sometimes and always knew and understood more than he should.

If one day Tony was gone, if he had to leave them, like he always feared that he would, at least they had each other. Tony hoped that would be enough.

“Was it juice pops?”

“Huh?”

“On your mind.”

“You know, it was,” said Tony, standing up from his chair and stretching out his hand, his fingers intertwining with Morgan’s tiny ones. “That’s extortion.”

Buddy padded along after them as they headed towards the kitchen, giving Tony his mournful and knowing eyes while Tony searched the freezer for the beloved popsicles. He unwrapped one for Morgan, and for Buddy, placing his in the dog bowl on the floor after the dog refused to take it out of his hand. 

The next morning, there was a wooden stick and a puddle of juice sitting in Buddy’s bowl.

*

Before Tony left for the time heist, he said goodbye to his family.

He hugged and kissed Pepper, never wanting to let her go. Their goodbye was silent. No words needed to be exchanged. She knew there was a chance he wouldn’t be coming back, so Tony didn’t have to explain or lie. They just breathed, together, maybe, for the last time.

There was still hope in her eyes, though, and Tony didn’t like it, didn’t want her to be crushed. He supposed it wasn’t illogical hope.

Tony had always come back before.

His goodbye to Morgan was the same as if he were going out for a quick store run. He told her he loved. He kissed her cheek and pulled her up into his arms for a hug, that lasted so long she started to squirm out of his arms. When he put her down, she replied that she loved him too, and went back to playing with her monster trucks.

Tony wondered if he’d be there to take her to get her first car, if he’d be there to teach her how to drive.

He said goodbye to Buddy last.

He kneeled in the grass, outside in the front yard, and looked into Buddy’s mysteriously familiar brown eyes.

“Listen buddy,” he said. “I know you don’t like what I’m doing, but this – this might bring Peter back. Him and so many others. Don’t you want that? Don’t you want to see Pete again?”

Buddy offered him a sad whine, and it made Tony wonder if there was anyone else Buddy missed. Any other humans that would’ve been kind to a stray.

“I’m gonna do whatever it takes, even if it means – even if it means I don’t make it back.”

Buddy whined-growled at him.

“Don’t give me that,” said Tony. “You’d do the same thing, if you got the chance, which is why I need you to promise me you’ll take care of my girls if I don’t come back.”

Buddy was silent for a long time, then sealed his promise by placing a paw on Tony’s knee and giving a loud, clear bark that could only be mean an agreement.

“I knew I could count on you.”

Tony forced a smile as he gave his dog one last pet, as he lost control of his better judgement and wrapped both his arms around Buddy and gave him a full-out hug. Eventually he had to force himself up and away and into his car.

When he looked in his rearview mirror on his way out, Buddy was still sitting in the same spot in the grass, watching as Tony drove away from his wife, his daughter, his dog. His perfect life, that he always kind of knew would come to end before he was ready.

*

Something was wrong.

Buddy could sense it in his heart.

More than that, he heard it, in the floorboards as Pepper paced from room to room, as she tried to make her voice sound normal whenever she spoke to Morgan, but there were cracks in it. Buddy heard them.

He heard a lot of things humans couldn’t hear.

When he was a human and had a different name – although he couldn’t always remember what that other name was – it was same. He was different then, too, had sharper senses than most.

But now his senses were dulling. They were weaker.

_He_ was getting weaker.

Buddy stood up from where he laid by the fireplace and bolted through the doggy door. He didn’t stop running until he was in the shed, with just Gerald, where Pepper and Morgan couldn’t see what was about to happen to him.

He was fading out. He was disappearing, and he knew keeping the promise he made to Tony meant not letting Pepper or Morgan see him turn back into dust.

The last thing he heard with dog ears was Gerald snorting.

The he was dust blowing across the atmosphere, that pieced back together on a planet far from home.

The first thing he heard with human ears, in five years, was Doctor Strange.

Peter’s eyes snapped open as the man shook his shoulder. He sat up slowly, and looked at his arms and legs, covered with Iron Spider armor and not fur. It was like waking up from a dream that had been real.

“Hurry up,” Doctor Strange told him, yanking him to his feet by his arm. “They need you.”

*

Chaos erupted around him, as aliens and avengers fought.

Peter bounced around the battlefield, ducking and dodging and getting a few good hints in, but mostly, searching for Mr. Stark. That took most his concentration, most his energy, and when he finally did spot Iron Man, he was on the ground.

He flung himself over and helped Mr. Stark out from a pile of rubble he’d fallen in. Seeing him there, looking at him, at eye-level while standing with just two legs, and knowing he’d spent the last five years grieving him, Peter just wanted to explain.

Everything. How he was a dog. How Morgan was great, and how she deserved to grow up with a father. With Mr. Stark.

“Holy cow, Mr. Stark, you will not believe-“ started Peter, but he was cut off by Mr. Stark’s slow march forwards, by his arms surrounding him, knocking the air out of him.

Peter let it happen. He let Mr. Stark hold him, then kiss him on the cheek, then hold him some more, as the blasts and battle cries kept playing around them. Peter let out a breath, felt his body relax. He put his head into Mr. Stark’s shoulder.

“Thanks for all the cheeseburgers, Mr. Stark.”

“What?”

A blast from a stray laser beam landed dangerously close and broke them apart.

Worry flashed across Mr. Stark’s eyes. Probably, Peter thought, he was realizing that because he had Peter back, he could lose him a second time. Peter was worried about similar things, although he felt his worry was more justified.

He remembered Tony’s goodbye speech. He remembered the promise he made as Buddy, to be there for Pepper and Morgan, if something happened to Tony.

“Be safe,” Mr. Stark told him with a nod.

“You too,” said Peter, back at him.

He nodded at him before rejoining the fight, but Peter knew it was a lie. Mr. Stark was still willing to do whatever it took to keep Thanos from wiping out the universe, even if it meant he didn’t survive, and when the gauntlet ended up in Peter’s hands, somehow, he knew two things.

Peter knew he had to keep the stones away from Thanos, but he absolutely knew had to keep them away from Mr. Stark, too. Whatever it took.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CAN'T believe there's only one chapter of this left, that's insane to me, thanks so much for reading along with this fluffy adventure, I'm really excited about the next chapter!! 
> 
> kudos and/or comments let me know what you think
> 
> [or come shout at me on tumblr](https://hailing-stars.tumblr.com)


	5. somedays

The sky above Peter was dark orange and purple and grey, like something from a movie, or from a famous painting people traveled across oceans to see. He wondered if, someday, artists would try to recapture the sky above this battle with paint or with words or with film reels.

Maybe all three.

Maybe there would be documentaries. Maybe, someday, Peter’s present would be read about in classrooms by bored kids that just wanted to go home.

Peter wouldn’t ever get to find out.

As he laid in the dent in the earth, clutching the gauntlet with the infinity stones placed inside, he knew he was about to die.

It was a decision he made as soon as a blast sent him spiraling into the dirt. He couldn’t make it to that van. Nobody could. The battle kept going and going, without any side gaining any ground, but with plenty of loses.

He laid in the dirt, thinking about someday, all the days after that one Mr. Stark would get to be with his family, and everyone else would get to continue being with theirs. Someday with Thanos and his armies. Someday would be tomorrow, if Peter could unfreeze himself and slip his arm inside the gauntlet.

May was the thought that held him back. Life had been unkind to her, and it was about to get even unkinder.

Peter held the gauntlet against his chest tighter when he sensed someone approaching. He didn’t care if Thanos himself popped his ugly grape head in his line of vision, Peter wasn’t letting go. He was going to snap him and his army away, like they were nothing, and along with them, all the grief that had plagued the universe of the past five years.

But it wasn’t Thanos who appeared over him.

It was Mr. Stark.

Peter didn’t care, though. He wasn’t letting go of the gauntlet for him, either.

“You did good, kid,” Mr. Stark told him. He outstretched his hand and twitched his fingers. “My turn now.”

Somewhere behind where Iron Man stood, there was an explosion. Chucks of dirt and pieces of metal went flying and scattered, but both he and Mr. Stark were unbothered.

“Come on, hand it over.”

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

Peter thought about Pepper, sitting by the lake, alone, without someone to argue with, and he thought about Morgan, blowing out the candles of her next birthday cake without Mr. Stark singing obnoxiously and holding her up so she could see over the table.

He did think about May, one last time. As he slid the gauntlet over his arm, he hoped that she would forgive him. That someday she might understand.

He was doing this for someday, after all. For everyone else’s somedays.

“Peter don’t you dare,” Mr. Stark told him, his voice desperate and angry, but Peter couldn’t really focus on his words.

The power coursing through him, the power of the very same stones that wiped out half the universe and for some reason turned him into a dog, burned through him, making it hard to focus on anything. Making it hard to even breath.

It was a struggle to get his fingers to obey, but with some effort, he brought the tip of his index finger to the tip of his thumb. He thought about Thanos and his army being wiped out, but before he could snap, Iron Man had gripped his gauntlet arm with both hands, attempting to pull the gauntlet off and away from him.

“Get off,” Peter grunted out.

“No,” said Mr. Stark, pulling the gauntlet closer to his chest, and Peter with it. “You’re not doing this.”

Peter wanted to respond with _neither are you _but couldn’t.

He was almost burnt out, and he knew if he didn’t snap then, he wouldn’t snap ever.

Peter snapped his fingers, then only knew pain and shallow breaths and Tony grunting out some angry words before falling down next to him. They were shoulder to shoulder as Peter struggled for breath, as he watched the sky over him, with all its brilliant colors.

The grey was gone, and someday had come, even if it hadn’t come for Peter.

“Hang in there, Pete,” said Mr. Stark, struggling over his own words. “S-stay awake.”

He tried. He really tried, but he so tired, so weak, and it was time to rest.

*

The Wakandan hospital room was dark.

Curtains had been drawn over the windows, to block out the moon and the stars, and Pepper had unplugged Morgan’s Iron Man nightlight hours ago. They were both asleep in the room’s living area, which was, in Tony’s opinion, too far away from where he laid on the medical bed.

It was unnecessary.

The laying around in a hospital bed. The bandages around his hands. The IVs stuck into him.

Tony was absolutely and completely fine. He was alive, breathing, uninjured, or at least, not as badly injured as his idiot child. The wounds he earned from death gripping the gauntlet when Peter snapped his fingers were just cuts and scrapes compared to the near fatal injuries Peter had sustained.

The sight of his charcoaled body disappearing through a portal with Doctor Strange was something Tony couldn’t get out of his mind, no matter how many times since then he’d been told Peter was okay. That he was injured badly, but recovering, healing faster than even the Wakandan doctors predicted.

Tony had been reassured by the medical staff, Pepper, Rhodey, Happy, and lastly, May, that Peter was fine, but Tony had yet to see it with his own eyes.

That was about to change.

He ripped the IVs out of his arm and swung his legs over the bed. He made his steps light and easy, careful not to wake Pepper or Morgan, but especially Morgan. She had fallen asleep crying, and would no doubt start again when she woke.

Tony walked across the hall to Peter’s room and nudged the door open with the back of his hand, opting to stand in the doorway and watch as the boy’s chest moved up and down, rather than get any closer. His body was bandaged and broken, but he was alive, and he was awake.

“You’re supposed to stay in bed, Mr. Stark,” Peter informed him, shifting around in his bed, and wincing uncomfortably at his own movement. “You need your rest.”

“So do you.”

“Maybe,” he said. “But you’re old.”

Tony narrowed his eyes and crept further into the room. “And you’re a moron. What were you thinking? You almost got yourself killed.”

“I was thinking…” started Peter. He paused. Blinked. “That it wasn’t fair for Morgan to grow up without her father. You were going to make the sacrifice play, but you have too much to lose and too many people who would lose you.”

“Yeah, back at cha.”

Peter gave him a small smile, then shrugged. “Doesn’t matter anymore, Mr. Stark. We won, and we’re both here.”

He sighed and sat on the edge of Peter’s bed. He supposed Peter was right. It was said and done, over. Thanos was dust. The universe celebrated loved ones returning, all thanks to Peter, who truly didn’t seem to grasp the magnitude of what he had done. That Spider-Man had saved the universe, and no one knew who Spider-Man even was.

“I forgive you I guess,” said Tony. “Just promise me you won’t do it again.”

“I doubt I’ll have another chance.”

“You’d be surprised how often the world needs saving, kid.”

Peter laughed. “Fine, I promise.”

“Good, now scoot over,” said Tony, and when Peter looked at him confused, added, “I’m old, remember?”

Peter, slowly and carefully, made room for Tony to lay down on the bed next to him. He winced as they got situated, with both their heads against the pillows, and with Tony’s arm around Peter.

“How’s Morgan?” asked Peter, into the quiet of the hospital room.

Tony wondered if Peter had heard the crying through the walls. “Scared, sad. She doesn’t understand all this. She misses her dog. He ran off somewhere when we were all fighting and she doesn’t think he’s going to come back.”

Peter shifted around under his arm.

“That mutt better come back. You two need to be reunited. He… Buddy, I think he missed you as much as I did.”

“Uh, Mr. Stark,” said Peter. “I have some news.”

“Yeah?”

“You can’t laugh.”

“No promises.”

Peter titled his head at him and looked at Tony with familiar brown eyes that cut at him, that made him even more aware that Buddy was missing and they may never find him again.

“I’m Buddy,” Peter told him, a clear sincerity in his voice.

“What?”

“I was the dog.”

“Come again?”

“It’s weird,” said Peter. “Sometimes it was really fuzzy, and I didn’t even remember that I was…well that I was me, but you’d always remind me with your bedtime stories.”

Tony wanted to say it was ridiculous. That it was impossible and insane, but his heart knew it was true. He’d always known it was true, like his spirit knew what his brain refused to acknowledge. That Buddy was Peter and Peter was Buddy. That they were the same, but different, at the exact same time.

“Are you going to say anything or…?”

“Thanos really was a loon, wasn’t he?” Tony brought Peter closer to him. He couldn’t believe he missed it. That he actually allowed himself to grief over someone he had that entire time, or at least, had in a sense. Tony supposed he couldn’t be angry with himself. He’d grieve for Buddy, too, even though he was technically right there. “Everyone else gets killed and you get a tail.”

“Maybe I wasn’t the only one,” said Peter. “Do you think Director Fury got changed into a cat?”

“Hmm, maybe,” said Tony. “Maybe the wizard got turned into a rabbit.”

Peter’s laugh lit up the room and made Tony’s heart soar. It’d been way too long since he heard, and Tony looked forward to all the days that stretched ahead.

*

*

*

Tony sat with his kids at the end of the dock on the lake. Morgan was sandwiched between him and Peter as they all stared down at the water beneath their feet. It was a dark, sparkling blue that night, but Tony knew Morgan wasn’t able to see any of the sparkle through her tears.

Looking back now, it hadn’t been his best parenting decision. Trying to keep the secret that her dog Buddy and her brother Peter were one and the same had started out with good intentions. Tony and Pepper had agreed they didn’t want to confuse her, but the lie they told her was worse.

That Buddy had died.

Out of all the things Tony protected her from, he couldn’t protect her from grief. It was a fact of life. It would happen to her, one day, but after listening to her cry day after day, and watching Peter try and fail to cheer her up, Tony decided grief could wait until she was a little bit older.

Morgan sniffled and moved her legs back and forward. “I just still really miss Buddy.” 

“I know, Mo,” said Tony, giving Peter a look behind her back.

Peter’s mouth moved up and down without any words coming out. He looked at Tony, his eyes hopeful, searching for help, but Tony wasn’t sure he could provide any. He couldn’t say he had experience explaining that he used to be a dog.

“He was my best friend,” said Morgan. “And now he’s gone.”

Tony put his arm around her, and gave Peter yet another pointed look, hoping the boy would hurry “You know, sometimes I feel like he’s still here with us.”

“Umm, Uh, hey Morgan,” said Peter. She looked up at him, and he looked down at her, with the classic tilt of his head and his familiar brown eyes telling Morgan everything she needed to know. “Wanna play princess dragon with me?”

“W-what?” she asked, stunned, and looking up at Peter with hopeful eyes.

“It’s always been my favorite game,” he told her. “You gotta be the dragon, though. Like always.”

Everything stopped. Even the wind through the trees, and the water below them, stopped as the gears turned behind Morgan’s eyes. Tony was just about to tell Peter he needed to be more obvious. That Morgan was four, and vague explanations just wouldn’t work, but before he could get the words out, Morgan threw her tiny arms around Peter and buried her head into his stomach.

“I knew you were with us,” Morgan mumbled, into Peter’s shirt.

Tony crinkled up his face and watched them, wondering, not for the first time, if he’d ever learn how to decipher the mysterious way which they communicated, the secret language that seemed to only exist between siblings. 

*

Pepper and Tony renewed their vows at dawn. They held hands and kissed under a purple and orange sky, as the sun disappeared, and as Morgan threw flower petals at them. She put her own spin on the role of flower girl, and Tony loved it. Loved as much as the blue shade of Pepper’s dress, or the way Peter clapped and cheered as he stood between Rhodey and Happy.

It was the way he’d wanted his first wedding to be. Filled with all the people he loved, every single one of them, and it cancelled out the happy, but dim memory of his and Pepper’s first wedding, the one in a court building with only Rhodey and Happy to witness.

There was a photographer at this wedding, and the after-ceremony photos were predictably chaotic.

Somehow, between the ceremony and the short walk over to where the photos were set to be taken, Morgan had spilled juice all over her dress and Peter had messed up his tie.

“You just couldn’t leave it alone,” said Tony, fixing it as Peter bounced from foot to foot, and as Pepper worked to get the juice stain out of Morgan’s dress.

“It was choking me,” whined Peter. He wore a face that reminded Tony of Buddy all those times he tried to get the poor dog to wear reindeer ears.

“I liked you better as a dog,” Tony told him. “Change back.”

“Speak for yourself, Tony,” Happy chimed in, marching over to where they stood. “I’m glad we have the real Peter back.”

“Thanks, Happy,” said Peter.

Happy sneezed and looked at Peter suspiciously through the fingers of the hand he’d used to catch his germs. He narrowed his eyes, then marched back off, to rejoin May. The both of them were smiley and giggly, so much so Tony was afraid he might have to think up a new ironic nickname for Happy.

“Told you that wasn’t a dog,” said Rhodey, as Tony finished up fixing Peter’s tie and let go of his collar. “How many times do I have to be right before any of you morons start listening to me?”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Maybe when you start actually being right. Never did I hear you say oh by the way the dog is actually your spider-kid.”

“Can we do something about that?” asked Peter, cutting off the impending argument, and gesturing over to Happy and May. Their faces were closer, almost touching.

“Sure,” said Tony, clapping a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “You can change back into a dog. May would never be able to cope with Happy’s sneezing.”

Peter frowned and grumbled something under his breath, but by the time the pictures were being taken, his smile returned, even though Happy and May continued to be disgustingly happy.

The night was filled with dances, and with watching other people dance. Time stood still as Tony watched Morgan dance with Peter, her feet on top of his, and then sped up as he watched Peter and a girl named Michelle share an awkward, slow dance alongside him and Pepper, as he imagined their future.

Tony hoped that their stories, whether or not they had one together, ended as happily as his and Pepper’s.

*

“It’s not fair,” said May. She sat at the dining room table at the Stark’s cabin, flipping through five-year’s worth of photos that featured Buddy. “You got to come back as a dog, the rest of us were just dead.” She started on a new stack of photos, then smiled. “You were adorable, though, Pete.”

Peter flashed her a weak smile back, then drifted back to his thoughts, where Tony noticed he’d been living most of the night.

Tony thought he understood what was bothering him, but he wasn’t confirmed to be correct until he walked into Morgan’s bedroom after she’d been put to sleep by one of Peter’s stories. He crouched down in the corner of the room, with his palm against the wall, covering one of the pawprints Buddy had put there years before.

“Reliving old memories?” asked Tony, from the doorway.

“Something like that,” said Peter. He stood up, straightened out, and turned to face Tony. “I don’t really have any left, though. I forget more and more every day.”

As strange as it was to be worried about forgetting days spent as a dog, Tony thought he understood, or at least, he understood what was really behind Peter’s anxieties. He shared them, after all.

Tonight was Peter and May’s final night living with the Stark’s at their cabin. The city was stabilizing, May had found a job and an apartment, and it was time for Pete to return to school. It was for the best, but it didn’t mean either of them had to like it.

Tony walked further into Morgan’s bedroom and wrapped his arms around Peter. “You’re gonna be okay.”

“This has been my home for five years,” said Peter. “I just, I’m really gonna miss you guys.”

“I know, we’re gonna miss you too, but there’s holidays and weekends, and if you don’t stop by you know Morgan will come hunt you down.”

Peter forced out a chuckled and nodded his head into his shoulder.

“I don’t think either of us will be sleeping tonight,” said Tony. “Star Wars night? In the living room?”

Twenty minutes later they were both down in the living room, on the couch, with a giant bowl on popcorn sitting between them and the Star Wars theme song playing. Peter fell asleep first, and Tony, who’d grown to love Star Wars the same way he loved AC/CD, stayed awake to watch, slowly working his fingers through Peter’s curls.

*

“No, nope,” said Tony. He shook his head and wagged his finger at Peter. “Absolutely not.”

“But Tony – “

“-Nope.”

The bundle of white fur in Peter’s arms gave a pathetic bark. It sounded a lot more like a yelp, and if Tony didn’t know any better, he’d say it was planned to appeal to his sympathies.

“But she needs a home,” Peter told him. “Somewhere out of the city where she can run around and chase squirrels, and you’re going to need a buddy when I’m off at MIT and Morgan goes to school.”

“Forget college.”

“Tony- “

“-Seriously, education is overrated and over-priced. I could teach you more in two hours than any of the sleepy professors at MIT.”

He hadn’t meant to be serious, but his comment sparked an idea. With both his kids locked up at school, retired life would start to get boring, and Tony was sure MIT would leap at the opportunity to have him as a professor. As soon as Peter and his freakishly sensitive hearing left the cabin, he’d make a call.

“You’re going to tell Morgan to forget kindergarten, too?”

“Yep,” said Tony. “Homeschooling is real, you know.”

Peter rolled his eyes and continued petting the pit bull puppy in his arms.

The truth was Tony knew he’d never be able to homeschool Morgan, even if Pepper would allow it. She was too clever for him, too smart and too cunning. She had weapons in the form of puppy dog eyes and her stuck out lower lip.

Of course, Peter had his tactics, too.

“I found her when I was breaking up one of those dog fighting rings,” said Peter. “She was all alone.”

Tony let out a breath. “Stop.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop giving that thing a tragic back story thinking it’ll change my mind.”

“She’s a pup, not _a thing_,” said Peter. “And I know you love dogs, you just pretend you don’t.”

Before Tony could correct him, before he could tell him that he’d only ever loved one dog, there was a high-pitched squeal of delight. Morgan raced off the porch and across the yard. She had the puppy cradled in her arms in seconds. The pit bull licked at her face and barked happily.

They were fast friends.

“Damnit, Parker,” said Tony. His daughter looked so happy, he couldn’t possibly steal that away. He was doing this for Morgan. He kept telling himself that, because it was easier than admitting to Peter that he was right.

Peter’s grinned stretched across his entire face.

“When Pepper asks, I’m blaming you.”

“I already asked her,” said Peter, with a shrug. “She agrees. You’re gonna need another pal when the house gets quiet during the day.”

“What’s her name?” asked Morgan. Her and the puppy were already sitting in the dirt together, playing together with a tree branch. 

“You’re the overlord-in-training, Mo,” Pete told her. “It’s up to you.”

Morgan didn’t hesitate one second before yelling out, “Popcorn!”

“Popcorn?” asked Tony, with skepticism. “That’s not – “

The puppy barked happily a few times, as if to tell them all that was her name, and Morgan had guessed it right.

Tony heaved a sigh, before allowing a small smile and scratching Popcorn on the top of her head.

That night, they waited for the sun to go down and then the four of them, Peter, Morgan, Tony and Popcorn, piled into the car and took off down the highway towards the twenty-four diner, the one where Tony was known and bringing a dog with him was expected.

They sat Popcorn up on the table of Tony’s usual booth by the window and let her have her first cheeseburger. She sniffed at it carefully before devouring it completely. It was official. She was a Stark through and through.

“She’s a cutie,” the waitress told them, when she came back with the shakes Morgan had talked Tony into getting for her and Peter. “I’ll always miss Buddy, though.”

“He’s still with us,” said Morgan, looking straight at Peter, and smiling.

The waitress gave Morgan a sad sort of smile as she left them, but before disappearing into the kitchen, Tony swore he saw her do a double take in Peter’s direction. He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised. There was no difference between Peter and Buddy, the boy and the dog that he never truly lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH it's over, to everyone who was worried in the comments that I was going to kill Tony or Peter, valid but I could NEVER, I am incapable. I did really struggle with this chapter, though, I feel like I always struggle with ending things 
> 
> THANK YOU so much to everyone reading this and being patient with updates, this fic had the longest gaps between chapters !! 
> 
> im doing nanowrimo this month so I probably won't be too active with posting fics but I am planning a Christmas fic that I'm so excited to write that's gonna post in December sometime and probably short little ficlets here and there again thanks for reading!!

**Author's Note:**

> I think one of the funniest implications of this is that Thanos decided half the universe was gonna die, but took one look at Peter Parker and was like nope, you were clearly meant to be a dog from the beginning, annnywayys, thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed!! 
> 
> kudos and/or comments let me know what you think!! 
> 
> [or come shout at me on Tumblr](https://hailing-stars.tumblr.com)


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